lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We left the knife in your bed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
