Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
