I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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