There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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