i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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