I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
