if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
