forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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