Can Purell be used as lube?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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