I am in a vortex of obligation.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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