My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
