Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
