Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
