Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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