Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
MIDGETS
????
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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