please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
