I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
