been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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