if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize