Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
