People in love make me want to vomit
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
please come you make the beer taste better
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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