If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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