he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize