My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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