I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
