My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
