I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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