Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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