i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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