I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
