Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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