so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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