No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
they're like a gay fantastic four
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
