Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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