yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
