Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize