Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
