I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
