I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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