What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
