Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize