Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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