hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
