Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
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We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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