Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize