Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
