I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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