I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
