it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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