How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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