He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is the high leading the old right now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize