Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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