Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize