so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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