The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
